


In thunder, lightning or in rain

by froopsen



Series: Kya/Lin one-shots [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/F, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25685206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froopsen/pseuds/froopsen
Summary: Three years after Kya's death, Su and Lin have a talk at Republic City's haven. Lin keeps remembering.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Series: Kya/Lin one-shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970392
Comments: 20
Kudos: 95





	In thunder, lightning or in rain

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @linguini for beta-reading.
> 
> And yes, the title is a McBeth-reference, because I love that line.

She looked over the pier of the haven. Waves swallowed each other, fighting for dominance and drifting into one another. The waves always had some kind of game going – much like themselves. Drawing in, pushing away.

What a stupid metaphor.

“She was always so beautiful,” she sighed, watching the water. 

“Well,” Su replied somberly, “She used to say that about you, all the time.”

Lin smiled to herself. It was strange talking to her younger sister about this. They weren’t children anymore, but it still felt to Lin as though Su was still the same young woman that had left all those years ago. “The two of you talked about me?”

Su looked at her older sister as she sat down next to her. “She visited me on one of her travels through the Earth Kingdom. Thought it might be fun. Then we kept in touch through letters.”

“How come you never told me about that? I just assumed you two got along naturally because of your free-spirited ways.”

“No,” Su got quiet. “You just weren’t in my life back then.”

Su saw Lin’s expression harden. She knew her sister hadn’t forgiven herself for the way they had parted all those years ago, though the only thing to blame for it was the situation itself. “But that’s in the past,” Su reminded the both of them and pulled a cigarette out of her pocket.

“You smoke?” Lin asked.

“You don’t?”

“She always wanted me to try it,” Lin said.

“Oh, I know. _That_ we talked about. Twice, I think. She thought you would look ‘really hot’ doing it.”

Lin was slightly confused at the phrasing. Had Kya really used those exact words? “I did try it once. Made me cough a lot. I suppose she left that part out. You wouldn’t have been able to shut up about it.”

“You sure are right about that.”

\------------------------------------

_“Just try it. Please,” Kya kept begging._

_“I really don’t see why.”_

_Kya cocked her head, “Oh come on! Work, me, what’s one more addiction?”_

_“Very funny. You are very addictive indeed. Why would you even want that? Don’t you know about all the dangers of smoking?”_

_“I do, because you keep reminding me of them, Chief.” Smoke left her mouth as she leaned forward to hand the cigarette over to Lin. “One puff; you don’t have to inhale. You won’t get addicted. I promise. Just…hold it with your lips.”_

_“I guess there’s no way around it if I want you to shut up about it,” Lin gave in and took the cigarette with the tips of her fingers, “Besides, with the amount that I passively inhale when you smoke, this probably won’t make a difference.”_

_Kya smiled victoriously as Lin brought the cigarette to her lips._

_If she was putting that thing between her lips, she was going to take a draw. She sure wasn’t going to half-ass it now._

_“Slowly,” the waterbender pleaded. She wanted to savor the sight. Her lover’s lips parting for the smoke, cheeks flushed slightly, complementing the pale skin, grey hair falling loosely on her shoulders. Beautiful._

_Lin’s furrowed brows didn’t ruin the moment, but the cough that followed did the job._

_“This is disgusting,” she said, when she had finished coughing, “It tastes so different to what it smells like.”_

_“You sound disappointed,” Kya laughed._

_“Now I understand even less why you do it!”_

_Kya put the bud out and leaned over. “Well, how about we replace that taste with something better, then?”_

\-------------------------

Lin sighed again. It wasn’t the first time she had remembered that moment.

“It’s been three years and you still seem so…changed,” Su said.

“Well, I’m sorry if it messed with me a little,” Lin scoffed.

Su flinched at the sudden defensiveness. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just worried.”

“Everyone suddenly seems to be.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

Su leaned forward and looked directly at her. “Like no one cared before.”

Had they really? If so, they’d done a bang-up job showing it. Maybe she was wrong for holding grudges, but it’s not like anyone had tried apologizing to her – ever. “You’re right, someone _did_ care. But she’s not here anymore,” Lin continued after a few moments.

“You can’t lose yourself like this,” Su said puffing out some smoke.

“I’m not. I found myself when she came into my life again and then she left and took some part of me with her. That’s what's 'different',” she huffed, getting up.

“She certainly wouldn’t want you to be like this.”

“Don’t speak like that!” Lin hissed again, turning around, “You and all those who said the same exact words, you don’t have the right to talk like that!”

Su almost rolled her eyes. As if yelling had any effect on her. It was Lin after all.

“Because _you_ didn’t know her _like that_. And not a single one of you could – nor should – ever speak for her.”

Su stayed relaxed, “I’m not trying to do that. I just don’t recognize you anymore.”

 _You barely really know me_ , Lin wanted to say, but took out her wallet instead. “I found something last week and I don’t know when she wrote it, or why I didn’t find it sooner.”

Su was intrigued and stood up, joining her sister, leaning against the railing.

“What is it? A letter?”

“No, a poem.”

“That’s sweet,” she smiled looking over Lin’s shoulder.

_Think about me when the thunder rolls,  
when they tell you what to do,  
how to act or what to say,  
think of me and scream.  
Think about me when the rain falls down,  
Catch a droplet if you can.  
They don’t know you like I do.  
Think about me when the sky turns dark,  
Speak no lies and hide no truths.  
Hiding is a coward’s choice  
and you can’t do that to yourself.  
I know you will be loving me,  
And I shall be there too.  
Think about me when the world falls down,  
And meet me when it does._

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yet I understand.”

Lin folded the paper and put it back into her wallet. She knew exactly what it had meant. It had taken her a while, but she understood. She also remembered what day had probably prompted it.

\------------------------

_“Do you ever get scared?” Kya asked, watching the storm outside their window._

_“At all, or of something specific?”_

_“I don’t know. Both, I guess.”_

_Their room was dark except for the occasional strike of lightning. Lin looked over at her. They had both been trying to sleep but this seemed to be keeping Kya awake._

_“Of course I get scared. You’ve seen it.” Had she maybe misunderstood the question? What was Kya aiming at?_

_“Right. Yeah, sorry,” the waterbender replied. She didn’t seem to listen._

_“What is this about? You seem so distracted.” Lin grew a little concerned and took her hand in an attempt to bring Kya back from wherever she had trailed off to._

_“Nothing…just thinking.”_

_“I noticed that much.”_

_Kya smiled at her, leaving a kiss on Lin’s cheek._

_“I just thought about how I really hope that I leave before you do.”_

_“Leave?” Lin was caught by surprise._

_“Leave, leave. Like die,” Kya elaborated, “And before you get all concerned, I’m not planning on doing that any time soon. It’s just your job that has me worried sometimes.”_

_Lin nodded. Now it was her turn to look outside, away from Kya. “I don’t like thinking about all of that. If I did, I’d probably get scared, too. Let’s get back to the first part that you mentioned so casually.”_

_Kya lay her head on the other woman’s chest. “It’s like those clichés say. I just don’t want to imagine a life without you in it.”_

_Lin scoffed, “Well you know what it’s like. Remember that time when you left and spent your life travelling everywhere. You didn’t have me then, either. I think you survived it rather well.”_

_“That’s different. I knew I could come home and visit my…friend…whenever I want. I’ve just gotten so used to us.”_

_“We are even better friends by now, aren’t we?” Lin smiled, “That changes things.”_

_Kya poked her in the rib. “So you do get it.”_

_Their faces turned serious again. “I just don’t know what I would do without you,” Kya said again._

\--------------------

“I just wish that she were here now.”

Su swallowed at Lin’s pained voice. “She would probably know what to say to you.”

“Somehow she always did. I loved that about her.” Lin felt tears welling up. She didn’t want to cry. She had done her fair share of that. The anniversary had her feeling like Kya had left only recently.

“You know what you could do?”

Lin had heard that tone before. Su had an idea. “Do I even want to know?”

They grinned at each other. Past ideas that hadn’t turned out like her sister had hoped popped into both of their heads.

“You should go to the swamp.”

Lin couldn’t suppress a loud laughter. “You want me to follow into mom’s footsteps and just disappear? Leaving people behind, who need my help?”

“No, you dummy. Just…for the visions. Maybe you’ll see her.”

“Don’t be foolish. I have a precinct to run.”

“Yeah, like you did after she died?”

Lin flinched. Not because of what Su had said, but because she had phrased it exactly like Kya would have. “What does that have to do with anything?” She crossed her arms, waiting for her younger sister to impose the wisdom she seemed to have.

“Well, you can’t tell me that you didn’t let yourself get beat up on purpose. You got more scars and bruises from the three months after her death than you have from the three years before that. And you’re not exactly doing much better since then. Everyone got so confused, how you suddenly started slipping. They expected you to throw yourself into work, but not like that. I think I understand it. It was like you got addicted to the pain.”

Lin stayed silent. Her sister knew her after all. She didn’t like that Su saw what had happened. Kya’s death had left her empty – a foreign feeling to her. She used to think that she knew what emptiness felt like. She thought she had felt it after Amon had taken her bending. In hindsight it had been fear and anger – maybe a little bit of regret for letting it get to that point. When Kya had left that emptiness had only made way, when Lin’s body had gone into what she called survival-mode. She had to be hurt badly for the adrenalin and fear to kick in. She had used the physical pain to clear the fog that had settled over her back then.

“It was a hard time,” she mumbled.

Su sighed frustratedly, “I didn’t negate that. I’m just wondering if it would help you heal a little if you saw her again.”

“It’s been three years.”

“You keep listing these stupid facts. Just say you don’t want to go because it’s my idea.”

Lin sighed. “Do you honestly think that I haven’t thought about it before? I would give…almost anything to see her again.” Her breathing quickened as she kept fighting the tears.

Su saw and got impatient with her sister. “Well just go then!”

“Maybe I will.”

A few minutes passed. Lin had regained her composure and started talking again. “It has been raining a lot more since she left. I tell myself that it’s her.”

If it weren’t for the moment, Su would have made a joke, but she was happy that Lin had found some type of coping mechanism through the years.

“I’m going to remember that when it does rain again.” She looked at her sister and reminded herself how much Kya had changed Lin. They had been good together, for each other maybe. “She loved you so much.”

“Amazingly so.” Lin trailed off again, as the waves recaptured her attention.

Maybe she should go to the swamp. What would she give to hear that soft voice of hers, again.


End file.
